Wherever you go, there you are. I’m not sure who first coined that quirky phrase, but its profundity is often missed. You cannot escape yourself; wherever you go, you bring your baggage.
But don’t tell that to the Vegas crowd.
Las Vegas has become more than just the gambling mecca of the world — it is Babylon squared, enclave for the new hipster, filling station for the terminally empty. Are you bored? Feeling down? Teetering from existential dry rot? Hey, nothing that a weekend in Sin City can’t cure. Or maybe you just want to find what you’re missing, flaunt what you got, or simply defribulate your dying endorphines. There’s enough buffets, cabarets and silicone implants to satisfy the most insatiable appetite. I mean, who doesn’t want to leave behind their crappy, hopelessly bored life for a weekend of uncensored hedonism? In this, Las Vegas has successfully capitalized on the basest of human drives.
Perhaps this is why the “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas” promo, is so popular. Not only do we want a place to lose ourselves, we want a respite from the consequences of that â€œloss.â€ We want a third serving of caramel cheese cake without the subsequent indigestion. We want to go â€œall inâ€ and still have some left. We want the thrill of liftoff, without the whiplash.
Okay, so it’s a catchy phrase. But it flies in the face of everything we know to be true and the most basic of biblical principles. Like these two:
Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. (Galations 6:7)
You have sinned against the Lord; and be sure your sin will find you out. (Numbers 32:23)
Yikes! The rubberized PR goons conveniently forgot to mention that. Instead, they keep serving cocktails to granny while she whittles away her Social Security check.
Nevertheless, despite the slick ad campaign, some things that happen in Vegas WON’T stay there. Here’s a sampling of
Some Things that Won’t Stay in Vegas
- Your hangover
- Those pics of you in a thong and an Elvis wig all over the internet
- The unpaid hotel bill
- OJ’s felony
- The marriage certificate from La Chateau de la Matrimony
- DNA on your front car seat
- The people who saw you make an ass of yourself
- A guilty conscience
See? Despite the catchy ad — and the promise of pardon — wherever you go, there you are. We reap what we sow, even if the seeds are scattered hundreds of miles from home in the Nevada wilderness. Anonymous sex and cheap steak dinners still have a price tag. About the only thing that ever really stays in Vegas is your hard-earned money.
Oh well. Let’s eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we. . . get the bill.