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Non-Movie-related Oscar Picks

Ever since Marlon Brando sent loincloth clad Sacheen Littlefeather to sancheen.jpgpick up his Best Actor Oscar for The Godfather, politics has been interjected, often obnoxiously (see Michael Moore’s acceptance speech for Farenheit 911), into the Academy Awards. Gone are the days when actors kept their causes to themselves. With Sunday night’s presentation projected to reach tens of millions, why should we expect the glitterai to suddenly shut up. So rather than predict who will win what category, the cranky conservatives at Decompose offer their own prognostications.

  • QUESTION: Who will be the first celebrity to mention politics?
  • ANSWER: Host Jon Stewart (w/in the first monologue)

  • QUESTION: What political cause / social issue will be referenced most during the show: a.) Global warming b.) Darfur c.) War in Iraq d.) Upcoming election e.) Health Care?
  • ANSWER: Hands down: d.) The election

  • QUESTION: How many times will the Bush administration get applauded?
  • ANSWER: The same number of times Johnny Depp washed his hair this month: ZERO!

  • QUESTION: How many times will Barack Obama be applauded?
  • ANSWER: Whenever his most holy name is uttered

  • QUESTION: What number of nominated documentaries DO NOT address a political / social issue?
  • ANSWER: None

  • QUESTION: How often will Juno be called a pro-life film?
  • ANSWER: The same number of times the Bush administration will be applauded

  • QUESTION: What nominee wants a Communist dictator to deliver his acceptance speech?
  • ANSWER: Some sicko

Rock on, Oscar! Here’s rooting for Daniel Day Lewis, the Coen Brothers, and limited liberal blather.

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{ 5 comments… add one }
  • janet February 23, 2008, 1:39 AM

    I’d put money on your predictions being correct. If I were a gambling girl, that is. Did you mean to say “hollowed” instead of “hallowed?”

  • Mike Duran February 23, 2008, 1:43 AM

    I meant to say “hallowed,” but changed it to “holy.” However, the word “hollow” does seems appropriate for the Dali Obama. Thanks Janet!

  • Nicole February 23, 2008, 7:18 PM

    Didn’t Marlon’s little Indian girl turn out to be (gasp) a hired “actress”?

  • Mike Duran February 25, 2008, 6:10 PM

    Surprisingly, there was not a lot of political chatter last night (though I must admit dropping in and out of the telecast). Sure enough, Jon Stewart dropped the first political jabs. In reference to the presumed Republican nominee, 71-year-old John McCain, Stewart quipped “Oscar is 80 this year, which makes him now automatically the front-runner for the Republican nomination.” I don’t really care for Stewart, but overall I thought his shtick was funny.

    Thankfully, Michael Moore did not win the Oscar, but the documentary winner did address the subject of Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib. There was plenty of “green speak” and a couple Obama references (none of which drew the typical swooning), as well as at least one reference to the upcoming election. I’m guessing that the moratorium on lengthy acceptance speeches helped whittle away some of the political rhetoric.

  • Chris D. February 27, 2008, 12:56 AM

    Funny stuff!
    Now that No Country for Old Men won best picture I want to see it again, especially the last scene.
    I’d also like to watch There Will Be Blood again.
    Good calls on the movie recommendations last year.
    Peace.

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