Doubt is becoming a franchise for some Christians. Books like O Me of Little Faith,  Know Doubt, The Myth of Certainty, and Faith at the Edge: A Book for Doubters all capitalize on postmodern believers’ perpetual “crises of faith.”

As if uncertainty is the only thing one can be certain of.

Joining that movement is Frank Schaeffer, son of the iconic Christian theologian / philosopher / apologist Francis Schaeffer. Apparently Frank has been “victimized” by those narrow-minded, intolerant Fundies. Speaking at the recent Wild Goose Festival, a sort of Woodstock for Religious Leftists, Schaeffer celebrated his agnosticism with others of like (open) mind.

In The Wild Goose Revival for Doubters and Jesus Victims (Like Me), Schaeffer describes the wonderfully “tolerant” vibe at the festival:

We understood each other, understood why it was a big deal that some of us were gay, open and happy in spite of everything, understood why some of us still wanted to follow Jesus, even though the world we came from — far right, hate-and-fear-driven wacko religion — had done its best to turn Jesus into Attila the Hun and/or Michele Bachmann.

Hate and fear? Wacko religion? Jesus the Hun? Can’t you just feel the love pouring out of the Goose? Schaeffer concludes with this prediction and an appeal:

Wild Goose Festival is going to grow into the largest, best run, most dynamic religious happening in the U.S. There are lots of smart spiritually hungry people with their eyes open…

Next year, be there. And if you’re an atheist, agnostic, whatever, you’ll like it too because you’ll be amongst those rare sort of religious people who will admit that we’re all in the same boat and that certainty is a killer and humility is all that works, if, that is, you want to live and let live instead of using ideas as weapons.

I’m particularly struck by Schaeffer’s conviction that “certainty is a killer.” I mean, that’s a dangerous idea. If he is too certain about his position —

“I am certain that certainty kills!”

— wouldn’t that make him what he despises — an absolutist? And if he doubts it, why in the world should I believe him?

So do all “Jesus victims” think like this?

It makes me wonder whether or not the folks at Doubt, Inc. have thought this through. Maybe it is not so much doubt they espouse, but doubt in traditional organized religion. Maybe it is not so much certainty they eschew, but certainty in specific beliefs. Maybe it is not so much intolerance they renounce, but intolerance of their ecumenism.

Don’t be mistaken. Schaeffer is not asking you to believe nothing. He wants you to believe something like this:

1.) It is not possible to express religious certainty without alienating someone.

2.) Traditional orthodox Christianity demands and requires a degree of religious certainty

3.) Therefore, one cannot embrace traditional orthodox Christianity without a.) expressing religious certainty and b.) alienating someone

Which is why Doubt, Inc. frowns upon the “far right, hate-and-fear-driven wacko religion” of… mainstream America.

Hey, I’m all for embracing atheists and agnostics, civil debate, and diversity culture. Problem is, the minute you say, “The Bible is God’s Word” or “There is one God” or “Jesus is the only way to God” or “Jesus is God” — you know, the stuff associated with the “far right, hate-and-fear-driven wacko religion” of mainstream America — you will potentially offend and alienate someone.

The moment you are certain about any religious convictions, someone, somewhere, will get miffed.

Unless, of course, you are only certain that “certainty kills.” In which case, may I introduce you to Doubt, Inc.