≡ Menu

Preparing Your Kid for College

My disdain for our current academic configuration peaked this summer. Chris was in Washington, D.C. doing an internship and reported that the 100+ students were going gaga over the Dem’s Enlightened Being. So he was in the minority. That fact came to light in a fairly awkward way. A group of the interns had gathered — they were still getting to know one another — and the topic of politics came up. They openly mocked and derided conservatives… until Chris spoke up and said, “I’m a conservative.” To which one of the alpha males retorted, “You just lost ten cool points and ten smart points.” The other interns hooted with glee.

So much for tolerance and the free expression of ideas.

Unlike the girl I introduced to you in my last post, Chris has weathered — if not excelled in — that liberal environment. And now with Alayna in her second year of junior college, I’ve thought a lot about what a kid — especially, a Christian kid — needs to prepare for college.

Perhaps that, in and of itself, is an important concept. I’m shocked at how many parents are seemingly unaware of the subtle ideological, spiritual forces at work to shape our kids. Somehow, we’ve developed this notion that, with all their intellectual prowess, university professors are above agendas, impervious to fallacies, incapable of distorting truth and disseminating absurdity. Americans are far too trusting and uncritical of their educators.

A while back I spoke to one of Chris’ math professors, and steered the subject toward religion. I was shocked to discover that this professor — this guy who could run cerebral circles around me — was so ignorant of basic religious concepts. He could articulate tangent bundles and diffeomorphism, but not the reason for his existence. My surprise was probably indicative of this fallacious belief that PhD = unquestioned authority. How is it that we have come to reverence these people?

Not only are many parents unequipped to have such discussions, we are intimidated by these eggheads. I don’t mean to sound entirely demeaning, but it’s the parents’ fault. We haven’t spent enough time getting grounded in our own faith, observing the culture critically, and defending our beliefs in the marketplace of ideas, to have any significant impact on our kids, much less their professors. When your child sees you mumble unconvincingly about your religion and shrug off questions, is it any wonder that an atheist professor can dismantle her worldview with a couple lectures? Secularism and humanistic philosophy pervades our campuses. We can bitch and moan about that, but the fact is we are shipping our kids to college without a well-framed apologetic for life and an ability to discern truth from error. Whose fault is that?

When Chris was completing his B.S. in Math, his last requirement was a semester in Perspectives on Gender. The course was taught by two lesbians and a trans-gendered male. I still haven’t figured how this stuff related to combinatorics and linear algebra. The unspoken purpose of the class was to eliminate hate and encourage tolerance — the mantra of multiculturalism. The larger purpose, however, had more to do with the deconstruction of traditional morality. Courses like this abound in today’s universities. But instead of seeing these liberal, agenda-driven classes as hurdles to overcome, perhaps we should teach our kids to see them as opportunities. What better way to reinforce God’s design than by contemplating  the assertion that men and women are socially conditioned and not really different. But from my experience, too many Christian parents don’t have a convincing answer for that lesbian prof, nor do they take the time to dialog with their kid about it.

Another point I want to make here about preparing your kid for college has to do with who pays. Lisa and I were never in the financial position to foot the bill, nor are we big on taking out loans that you can even get online now a days from services like nation21loans. Both these things have meant that, if our kids are going to college, they’re probably going to have to work their way through it. Call me a cheap bastard if you want, but I think it’s one of the best things a parent could do.

Think about it: One of the most important traits of a healthy, productive, Christian citizen is a good work ethic. When we incur the cost for our kid’s college education, we are potentially undermining the most important aspect of their growth: hard work. This isn’t to suggest that the rigors of academia isn’t hard work, nor that the freedom to focus undistracted upon said work isn’t a valuable thing. But that when Mom and Pop cover all the expenses, it is a formula for abuse. It’s no secret: We appreciate what we have to work for. So is it any wonder that so many college campuses become party-havens and dens of youthful immorality? Hey, when Daddy’s paying, why worry?

In the end, equipping our children for a good career is secondary to equipping them for a meaningful life. What does it say that parents will invest so much money into their kid’s education / career, and so little time into their spiritual / moral upbringing? A diploma is not nearly as valuable as a moral compass; a six-figure salary is not nearly as satisfying as spiritual peace. Or, to paraphrase the words of Christ, What shall it profit a child to get a Masters degree and lose their own soul?

{ 11 comments… add one }
  • Kaci September 15, 2008, 4:45 PM

    Hehe. Oh, I could share a few stories. I’m a lit major – what more need I say? The Lit classes were always interesting.

    A few highlights:

    -Biology for non-majors (aka Theoretical History class) >> I might point out I would not have minded a semester of evolution had the class been titled “The Theory of Evolution,” not “Biology.” I happen to love A&P and Biology. And genetics. Ahem.

    -A Survey of Ethnic Literature (aka Tolerance Class and How White People are Racist) >> The only class I ever saw a prof unable to control his class, two girls screaming at each other, and a girl throw her test at the prof. I felt sorry for the guy.

    -Global Issues (aka The PC Class) >> I had a little too much fun throwing out things like “what makes a democracy better than a dictatorship?” and “what defines ‘child labor’?” More fun: “Why do you think men and women deserve equal rights?”

    The frightening part was getting blank looks. Most amusing observation: The international students (Russian and Nigerian) actually understood and had the same question I did. So it was me, a guy I graduated with (and we tag-teamed occasionally), an African, and a European. Much fun.

    More observations:
    -getting called narrow-minded and tolerant in the same day
    -people’s inability to not ask my politics, religion, and worldview (though they didn’t know that term) within five minutes
    -a guy being surprised I was not a feminist, but rather traditional in most sense (so apparently a girl with a college education can’t be conservative – go figure)
    -My Jewish friends rock.

    Notable dialog:

    Honduran friend: You’re Republican? I”m surprised.
    Me: Why’s that?
    Honduran friend: I thought all Christians were Democrat.

    Just thought you’d like that overview of my college years. Teehee.

    Oh, and my dad did pay for my school. I went full time, finished in 3 1/2 years, and was expected to pull my weight by doing well. Made mostly As and Bs, made two Cs one semester due to some….personal issues. I agree on the stewardship thing. I’m just saying that you can be a good steward of other people’s time and money as much as your own. Just requires training.

  • Kaci September 15, 2008, 4:48 PM

    Oh, there was also the psych prof who thought marijuana should be legal “because it won’t kill you,” and the British lit prof who was….crazy enough to speculate to a roomful of mostly females that a character in a particular story might possibly have been asking to be sexually assaulted (the response was even more surprising). And the sociology prof who apparently believes we are strictly products of our environment/social upbringing/socio-economic status/education/you get the point despite the numerous “coincidental” exceptions.

  • Kaci September 15, 2008, 4:52 PM

    Then again, any prof who can get a Freudian reading out of a Hawthorne short story….

    Okay, I”m really done. Sorry, you sent me down memory lane. 0=)

  • Nicole September 15, 2008, 5:21 PM

    I couldn’t agree more with your entire essay, Mike. There are so many good points there. I applaud your choice to allow your kids to pay their own way. If they really want a college education, they’ll find a way to get one, and they’ll persevere until they’re able to get what they want/need.
    The fraudulent (yes, that’s the word I want) classes they must choose from and eventually take are absurd. The indoctrination is at every level of education now beginning in grade school.
    I, too, am often shocked at the spiritual illiteracy of those parents who have been in the church and in the faith for years and years. What have they learned about the assaults upon their souls by the culture which they often integrate into their homes without a thought and pass along to their unsuspecting kids without explanation or contrast to God’s ways, plans, and directives? It absolutely blows me away.

  • Nicole September 15, 2008, 5:24 PM

    P.S. Kudos to Chris for his stalwart and intelligent ability to stand up against the ignorance. And likewise to his parents for the solid preparation to withstand and overcome the inevitable assault.

  • C. Duran September 15, 2008, 5:28 PM

    Well said, Dad.
    Thank you for discussing many of these topics (relativism, man’s fallen nature, morality, sex) with me before I headed to college and while I was in school. Taking those classes has actually increased my belief and faith in God, morality, Christianity, and the differences between the sexes.
    I sat in many of those classes and thought, “Wow! They’re saying exactly what Dad said they would say.” And, “These Professors really do hate God, Christianity, and morality. Why is there so much hatred for the stuff that Mom and Dad and my pastors have always taught me? Maybe life really is the way Mom and Dad say it is?”
    In particular, Dad, thanks for discussing the consequences of many of these modern philosophical frameworks and pushing them to their logical conclusions. For example, if there is no morality, on what grounds can we condemn anything? Who says it’s wrong to be a murderer or a racists? The Professors can’t have it both ways- they can’t believe in moral relativism and condemn a person for being a racist.
    To your second point, thank you for making me work my way through college. When people are given too much freedom, especially young, attention craving college students, they tend to stray onto very lazy, unproductive paths. It’s just part of our fallen nature.

  • Alayna Duran September 16, 2008, 3:16 AM

    Well dad, it’s actually my third year in college but whose counting. The one thing that I’ve realized is that college is about finding yourself, thinking, believing, and free speech. The funny thing is that you can do all those things, as long as there done with a liberal mind set. Anyways, this is the start of my third year and I finally have a semester were i like all my teachers.

    Good things don’t happen twice.

  • Mark H. September 16, 2008, 2:53 PM

    Your last paragraph is dead-on target. Nice job, Mike.

    If you remember, I posted last year about material being disseminated at my alma mater, the University of Delaware, in which students were taught that all white people are racist. This was a big scandal when it became public–and I’m glad it did come to light.

    And yet, college is important in many technical fields. There’s no way I could do my engineering job today if I hadn’t attended college. I guess the nice thing about that side is that there isn’t much room for interpretation in engineering. It either falls down, or it doesn’t.

    It’s sad to see so many people who preach “tolerance” be so decidedly intolerant of other views.

  • Rebecca LuElla Miller September 17, 2008, 1:36 AM

    Nicole said: I, too, am often shocked at the spiritual illiteracy of those parents who have been in the church and in the faith for years and years. I think the key is we need to be in the Word, not just in church or in the faith.

    I don’t want to sound like I’ve arrived, because that’s not true and not what I believe. I do know, however, that studying Scripture (which I did as part of my job for years) forces a person to answer some of the hard questions and enables him to be prepared when confronted with the world’s ready rejection of God.

    Becky

  • Ame October 4, 2008, 7:26 PM

    my girls’ dad is placing such an emphasis on their education that they are beginning to hate him … and i mean, really really hate him. of course, he’s blaming me for this. but the reality is that no matter how much i try to instill a respect into my kids for their dad, they see the truth of who he is, and i cannot dispute truth.

    he cares more about what and how they’re doing in school than he cares about them … or about what they’re reading … or about what concerns them … or about how they’re feeling about school. he and his parents have begun to pound my girls so much on this that they refust to talk to him when he calls and cry and beg not to go to his house on visitation weekends.

    also, he has chosen to believe their teachers over his children. BIG mistake. he blanketly accepts whatever their teachers speak and totally disregards his own kids … in the name of education.

    don’t get me wrong, i agree being educated is important. but i do not put the system of education above my children … or above what is Truth.

  • Ame October 4, 2008, 7:31 PM

    just read your kids’ comments … i wish you could bottle up what you do as a parent and sell it … the world of children would be better off for it. go you, Mike and Lisa, for being the incredible parents that you are. wish you lived closer and i could spend more time in your home learning from you so i could improve myself as a parent.

Leave a Reply